3 Things That Can Kill Intimacy

We've stumbled upon people who feel they've got the perfect sex life. We've been pleasantly surprised and curious. Are we the only ones to experience these sex killers? We think not. If these things are happening to you, you're likely feeling the pain in your love life.

One of the main reasons why GetLusty was created was to help couples have better sex and a more fulfilling relationship. One of the most important parts of a relationship is intimacy. On the contrary, one of the biggest issues in relationships is the lack of intimacy. There are plenty of reasons as to why couples have low levels of intimacy in relationships. GetLusty writer Crimson Love reports on what life distractions can kill intimacy in your relationship.

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#1 Work

Work plays a huge part in lack of intimacy.

If you are extremely career focused and work 9-5 or later every single day when will you have time to spend with your partner?

By the time you get home all you want to do is eat dinner, maybe watch your favorite TV show and go to bed. This daily routine repeats the next day and could soon become a destructive cycle.

#2 Children

Having children (bless their sweet little souls) can put a damper on intimacy. In the early stages of life, they take up a huge portion of your time.

Even as they get older there are soccer game to attend, PTA meetings, play dates, and birthday parties.

After all that carpooling and running around, when everyone is finally home, you still have to make dinner and help out with homework. By the time good night kisses are given and the little ones are tucked into bed, you are tuckered out and ready to collapse.

#3 Family

On top of work and the kids, you also have family to deal with- which can be more emotionally draining than anything. Tension between your in-laws or immediate family can put you in a funk for awhile.

If you are a couple that has older parents who need just as much care just they will often need to be looked after and will need help with certain tasks. Taking care of older parents can also leave little to no time for intimacy and can even cause stress in your relationship.

You might be thinking to yourself, "Yes, this is sounds like me and my lover. But at least we still have sex." Yes, you may be having sex but ask yourself this: Is it the same routine sex? Are you using the same sex positions and having sex at the same time of the day? When you are all finished, do you roll over and fall asleep? This may work for some but for most, this won't work forever. Your stagnant routine may be killing your intimacy.

Look out for part two as GetLusty helps you distinguish the difference between sex and intimacy.

With love from, Get Lusty!

This is a guest post by our very own Crimson Love. Crimson is our resident BDSM fetish expert. If you don't see Crimson out dining with her adoring boyfriend, you'll find her reading books on innovation or finance. Crimson is currently finishing off her Bachelor's, she is passionate about food, photography, music and especially sex--and she's not afraid to talk about it. With everyone!

Have story ideas? Get in touch with Crimson Love at amber@getlusty.com.

4 Ways To Get Your Intimacy Back

Intimacy, it's crucial to a successful relationship. Here it is! The final part in our series on intimacy. To briefly recap, part one discussed the things that can kill your intimacy. Part two discussed the difference between sex and intimacy. Here in part three, we are going to give a few ways to infuse the intimacy back into your love and sex life.

Our Crimson Love reports.


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Getting into a rut and getting distracted is easy but getting out of one is harder. Don't fear though! GetLusty is here to provide some ways to get your intimacy back.

1. Schedule

Scheduling may sound really unsexy, but when you have an extremely busy life it is one of the best things you can do your relationship. Scheduling allows you time to plan out your activities like: taking a couples bubble bath together and giving each other massages.

2. Leave distractions out of the bedroom

We know that this will be terribly difficult for some but, you have to try. Letting work bleed into your private life only provides distractions. Leave the television out of your bedroom too! A study by an Italian sexologist has found that couples who have a TV set in their bedroom have sex half as often as those who don’t. If that's not incentive for you, I don't know what is!

3. Go to places you have not gone before or don't go often

When I say this I don't mean literally. I mean go to places emotionally. That emotional connection is really important. Cuddle more, fantasize together, get goofy, get angry, get sad. Do it all and do it together. That emotional journey will allow you to learn together and bond. You will become more aware of your partner's emotional needs. The awareness you gain will make you want to fulfill your partners emotional needs in and out of bed.

4. Be present

I cannot stress this enough! If you are not there in the moment with your lover and you're just going through the motions you have become a sexual zombie! Be present and enjoy the time you spend together.

Sex without intimacy can be nice. But making a habit of having sex without intimacy can put you and your lover in a rut. Prevent the rut by making time, scheduling, leaving out distractions and getting emotionally adventurous together.

With love from, Get Lusty!


This is a guest post by our very own Crimson Love.

Crimson is our resident BDSM fetish expert. If you don't see Crimson out dining with her adoring boyfriend, you'll find her reading books on innovation or finance. Crimson is currently finishing off her Bachelor's, she is passionate about food, photography, music and especially sex--and she's not afraid to talk about it. With everyone!

Have story ideas? Get in touch with Crimson Love at amber@getlusty.com.

The Difference Between Sex & Intimacy

Sex and intimacy aren't the same thing. Here at GetLusty, we like to encourage great sex and intimacy. We also like to encourage personal education when it comes to matters of the heart and body. In the first article in our series about intimacy, we discussed a few examples of things that can kill your intimacy and put you in a sexual rut. After reading part one, you might be confused in the references to sex and intimacy, as most use them interchangeably. Here are the definitions and differences between sex and intimacy. So here's part two in a 3 part series. GetLusty writer Crimson Love reports.

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Sex

Sex and intimacy are not the same thing. While sex is an intimate act, that doesn't mean it's full of meaning and intimacy.

According to Dictionary.com sex is, "The act carried out for procreation or for pleasure in which, typically, the insertion of the male's erect penis into the female's vagina is followed by rhythmic thrusting usually culminating in orgasm". This definition says nothing about intimacy. In fact the definition of sex seems quite clinical doesn't it? You can have sex without intimacy, if you just go through the motions and are not mindfully present. You become a sexual zombie.

Intimacy

Again from dictionary.com, intimacy is, "A close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group. Or, an act or expression serving as a token of familiarity, affection, or the like: to allow the intimacy of using first names". Nothing in this definition talks about sex or making love.

To simply put it in relation to this series, sex is the act and intimacy is the love, thought, effort, time and romance you put into it.

Now that you know what affects intimacy negatively and the difference between sex and intimacy, be on the look out for Part Three: ways to infuse the intimacy back into your love life!

With love from, Get Lusty!

This is a guest post by our very own Crimson Love.

Crimson is our resident BDSM fetish expert. If you don't see Crimson out dining with her adoring boyfriend, you'll find her reading books on innovation or finance. Crimson is currently finishing off her Bachelor's, she is passionate about food, photography, music and especially sex--and she's not afraid to talk about it. With everyone!

Have story ideas? Get in touch with Crimson Love at amber@getlusty.com.