G Boutique: a Chicago Sex Boutique Fav

G Boutique is one of Chicago's few wonderful adult stores. It's located in the Bucktown area of Chicago at 2131 N. Damen Avenue. Not sure how to use Google Maps? We even located it on a map for you at the bottom of this article. Aren't we nice?

They sell everything from lingerie, to toys, to porn, to lusty accessories, oh my! In business since 2002, their goal is to provide women and men alike a fun, safe, relaxed environment to do their personal sexy shopping. They do cater especially to ladies, yay!

Why? The owners of G Boutique are two ladies! Cheryl and Kari. Two friends brought together by mutual family friends who originally wanted to write erotica.

Instead, they got the idea that it would fabulous for Chicago to have a store run by women for women. And who doesn't love a good feminist sex toy store? They wanted to make women feel like they were coming into a store run by their girlfriends.

G Boutique professionals are knowledgeable and open to answering any questions you have about sex, sex toys, and all other things lusty.

Shoppers are 18+ and range in interests, occupations, orientation and sex. Haven't been to early to G Boutique yet? Stop by and we are sure you won't be disappointed.

They brought in some theatre friends to help design the space and before you knew it something sexy was born. As you can see in the picture below, the store design looks inviting and gorgeous. For more information, visit the G Boutique website! Haven't been to G Boutique yet?


Plan your first trip and some support them as GetLusty ramps up as a media sponsor and partner on upcoming events! Good things are coming in the near future, lovely readers!

Can you find G Boutique on the map below? Check it out!

This is a guest post by our very own Crimson Love.

Crimson is our resident BDSM fetish expert. If you don't see Crimson out dining with her adoring boyfriend, you'll find her reading books on innovation or finance. Crimson is currently finishing off her Bachelor's, she is passionate about food, photography, music and especially sex--and she's not afraid to talk about it. With everyone!

Have story ideas? Get in touch with Crimson Love at amber@getlusty.com. 

   

"Mindfulness" as Sex Therapy

 Being mindful of your sexuality and even your emotions benefits your personal development. Meditation is healing. Sex is also healing. So, why wouldn't they both help sexual trauma or difficulties? How about channeling that mindfulness into your sexuality? GetLusty advocate, sexologist and sex therapist, Dr. Jenn reports.

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Boring sex? Pain during intercourse? Distracted in bed? Sex addiction? No desire to get it on? Is it possible that all these sexual concerns and sex problems could have the same remedy? Yes, and that remedy is the ancient Buddhist practice of mindfulness.

Mindfulness is an awareness skill of being present in the moment, with your thoughts, emotions, and sensations. It is noticing the present moment and – here’s the kicker – not judging what you notice. The health benefits of mindfulness are profound: stress reduction, decline in anxiety, depression relapse prevention, overcoming addiction, and reducing chronic pain, not to mention greater happiness and fulfillment in life.

Researchers are also delving into the sexual realm to see how mindfulness can improve sex lives. Although little research has been done so far, it seems to be beneficial for women with low desire, vulva pain, and emotional distress from past sexual trauma. There is anecdotal evidence that it is valuable for sex “addiction,” erectile dysfunctions, and boredom.

I’ve been integrating mindfulness-based practices into my sex therapy and couples counseling work for several years because I think it’s the foundation for all personal growth.

Do you freak out with jealousy if your boyfriend receives a text from another woman? Mindfulness can help break that automatic pattern. Are you distracted during sex by your bulging belly or your long to-do list? Mindfulness skills keep you grounded in the moment and release such mind chatter. Integrating little daily practices of mindfulness can make these big brain changes.

I have mindfulness on my brain more than usual this week, because I just went to a sex conference this weekend. Its not as sexually titillating as it may sound, but it will be intellectually titillating. At this 2012 annual conference for AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, & Therapists) in Austin, TX, I will be speaking on “Get Out of Your Head & Into Your Body: Improving Sex Lives Through Mindfulness.” My take home message for the audience? Mindfulness is the new sexy.

This was originally posted as part of Pacific San Diego Magazine's sex & love blog series. Check it out the Mindfullness post here.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, PhD, is a sociologist, sexuality speaker, and sex therapist, with a passion for challenging people to sexually think outside the box.

Dr. Jenn is a public speaker on topics including healthy relationships, love, gender, mindfulness, erotic play, and happiness. She counsels individuals and couples, in person and over Skype, to assist in creating and maintaining open communication and fulfilling intimacy. Dr. Jenn is a contributing writer for Pacific San Diego Magazine and is a sex and relationship expert on Fox 5 news and San Diego Living. Follow her on Twitter @DrJennsDen and Facebook.

Ladies! Multiple Orgasms 101

It's no secret that GetLusty For Couples loves vulva's, the clitoris and the vagina. Gosh, we love all areas of our female bodies! So when we have the chance to publish an article on multiple orgasms. Well, we're tickled. Anne Brown, of the Enlightened Sexpot, is back with more orgasmic writing. What about? You guessed it, orgasms! In honor of Orgasm October which is just around the corner, she is here to discuss the mystery of multiple orgasms.

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Some canny readers may have noticed that I alluded to the totally awesome ability for vagina-owners to experience multiple orgasms in my last post on clitoral orgasms.

If you said, “Oh yes, multiple orgasms, please!” when I mentioned an orgasm in which “you don’t want to short-change the zings,” guess what Holmes? You win. Why? Because it only dawned on me a week later that the phrase “multiple orgasms” even applied in that situation.

The ability to have multiple orgasms was kind of on a pedestal in my brain. I thought that being “multi-orgasmic” was some special trick that only the real experts could master. The problem with this–and anything sexual on a pedestal (see the Cosmo article Multiple O’s: Why One Orgasm is Never Enough)– is that “multiple orgasms” then are only special because they can’t belong to just anyone.

Fuck the pedestal, guys. Multiple orgasms, virginity, whatever, the things are special if you have made your own personal choice to decide that they are special for you. I’ve said this already: every sexual experience that gives an individual pleasure is legitimate. If you’re not having multiple orgasms, you’re not “missing out”. That said, if you’re interested in how they work and/or how your favorite vagina(s) can feel more than one orgasm in a session, keep reading!

For penises

Before we begin: penis-owners, I haven’t forgotten you. I just need to get my hands on this book and do a little other research before I can write anything more in-depth about the penis’s ability to have multiple orgasms, which involve learning to orgasm without ejaculating (they are actually already separate things– in many male bodies it’s normal to feel the orgasm begin before ejaculation starts).

When penises ejaculate with orgasm, there follows what is called a, "refractory period" in which they become not interested in sex. This refractory period varies in time from person to person and will change with age, libido, stress, etc. Vaginas might ejaculate sometimes, but they don’t have refractory periods. Some clits feel painful when touched right after orgasm, but this isn’t an actual physiological refractory period–it’s just a clitoris that is really sensitive at the time.

Even that painful clitoris is capable of being stimulated to orgasm (if done very carefully with permission). Just like with one orgasm, all pussies are completely physically capable of having multiples, it’s just a matter of whether or not that particular pussy has discovered the best way to do it yet.

Debunking Cosmo

That Cosmo article I linked to earlier is only disguising itself as helpful, and I hope you didn’t read it before reading this.

First of all, the title puts pressure on the reader to want and work towards multiple orgasms, even if there is vague do-what-feels-good language inside the article.

Second, multiple orgasms are only talked about in the context of heterosexual penis-in-vagina intercourse, and it asserts that oral sex before intercourse and/or lots and lots of penis-thrusting are the “most common” ways that vaginas have multiple orgasms. Talk about being scared of maybe girls getting pleasure not from their “man”.

It sets itself up with a faux-cutesy “sorry, dudes– girls totally have you beat because we can have multiple orgasms” attitude that the author may have thought was empowering. I don’t feel good when I make other people feel not as adequate and/or give erroneous information so, Cosmo go away. The only good information in this piece was the definition of two different types of multiple orgasms that vagina-owners can experience: sequential and serial.

Sequential and serial orgasms 

Sequential multiple orgasms are orgasms that are only seconds apart– they are, in fact, what I was talking about when I said do not stop doing whatever you are doing because of the zings, etc. As a reminder and to qualify: these types of orgasms, which feel like one extended zig-zag of wantwant-orgasm!-wantwant-orgasm! to infinity and beyond, happen when the person in question is really super-aroused and there has been lots and lots and lots of foreplay (“of her choice”, thanks Wikipedia!).

This could potentially happen with lots of penis-thrusting for the high-estimate 30% of female bodies who come from vaginal intercourse alone, but for the vast majority, extra-thrustular stimulation will be involved. Dr. Ruth’s Encyclopedia of Sex (informative, not always as inclusive/ sex-positive as I would like) cites a couple of big-name studies in which average women experienced up to 50 sequential orgasms using vibrators. Tongues and fingers are also great, duh.

Serial multiple orgasms happen a few minutes apart, and vagina-owners get to demonstrate their ability to rapidly move through the human sexual response cycle of excitement-plateau-orgasm-resolution. While sequential orgasms bounce between plateau (wantwant) and orgasm (!), the experience of serial multiple orgasms allows a longer period to pass–one to several minutes– between each orgasm, and the entire cycle repeats itself. Re-excitement through a continuation of foreplay activities before the resolution phase totally sets in, leads to another plateau and then an orgasm. It might be a different-feeling orgasm than the last one, but that still “counts” as a multiple, just like having goal-oriented “I-want-an-orgasm-of-this-type” sex still “counts” as “not being fully appreciative of your/your partner’s body."

Qualities of those who have multiple orgasms

The 50-orgasm women in the studies cited by Dr. Ruth all had one thing in common: what seemed to be a “healthy, uninhibited sexuality”.

If I extrapolate correctly, this means that they didn’t feel shame about what they wanted or were experiencing, that they felt they were in a safe place where they didn’t need to have their guard up. If they were alone my guess would be that they stayed focused on themselves, had positive thoughts about their pleasure, and saw the experience as an exploration, not an achievement.

Additionally, if they were with a partner, this partner was probably someone that had made them to feel safe; feel cared about; someone who believed that their pleasure was important and not something “extra” or something to get out of the way. Truly “uninhibited” sex isn’t crazy sex where everyone does everything (necessarily), but instead sex in which a person and their partner feel connected to and totally accepting of themselves and the other. This kind of sex can and does happen with both strangers and married people: it’s all about the individual attitudes involved.

Did you know that anyone can have an orgasm? Like really, really anyone? Like even people with paralysis or who have experienced genital mutilation can learn to have orgasms through non-genital stimulation? I don’t want to say that “anyone” can have multiple orgasms because I don’t have enough information, but with the knowledge that anyone can experience orgasm it seems like it’s possible. Bodies and brains are awesome. I’m so glad I have my very own one of each.

References:

• Westheimer, Dr. Ruth (1994). ”Dr. Ruth’s encyclopedia of sex”. New York, Continuum.
• Ryan, Christopher and Jethá, Calcida (2010). ”Sex at dawn: How we mate, why we stray, and what it means for modern relationships”. New York, Harper Collins
• Go Ask Alice (Columbia advice column)
• Healthcentral.com Multiple Orgasms
• Human Sexual Response Cycle via Wikipedia
• Refractory Period (sex) via Wikipedia

Check out the original post The Enlightened Sexpot.


Anne blogs from her base in Boston as The Enlightened Sexpot and works at the Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health in Pawtucket, RI.

Originally from Seattle, she studied Spanish and Latin American literature/film/art at Dartmouth College while also obtaining a teaching certificate in Kindergarten- 8th grade.

In addition to her interest in any and all things sex-related, Anne is a huge NPR nerd, book nerd, and an enthusiastic spin class participant. You can follow her on twitter @shinysex and also check out her blog, the Enlightened Sexpot.

Podcast! Dr. Jallen Rix on Honesty for Deeper Love

Dr. Jallen Rix survived a strict, religious upbringing and ex-gay ministry. He wrote a book about it, and came out of the experience a more complete, honest person.

He's very secure in his sexuality and teaches others about how to realize their own sexual interests. How can monogamous couples have a more fulfilling love life? We talked with him about honest, loving experiences.

What we talked about:

• What brought Jallen here? 
• Why is it so important to be honest with your partner sexually? 
• Why did he write his wonderful book, "Ex-Gay No Way" and what's it all about, anyway?
• OK, so he's gay & poly. My husband is bisexual, is yours? Dr. Jallen answers how to integrate fantasy into your healthy relationship.
• How can couples interested in bi-sexuality but not in polyamory explore?
• What are different kinds of monogamy & why do they matter? 
• What's in the prospect for Dr. Jallen? What's next?

More about Jallen:

Speaker, author, and educator, Jallen Rix has come a long way to be a sex expert. Growing up as a Southern Baptist, he was taught that spirituality was heavenly but sexuality was from the devil. While obtaining a B.A. in creative arts and a minor in theology, he also went to great lengths attempting to change his sexuality from gay to straight in an ex-gay ministry- to no avail.

That experience set him on a journey of discovery that ultimately resulted in Jallen earning his Doctorate of Education in Sexology from The Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality in San Francisco, where he is now Associate Professor.

He pens the popular advice column, Sex Ed in Bed. As a sexologist, Jallen creates an accepting and safe environment that provides support, humor and insight for a wide variety of people to raise their awareness for a more positive and healthier sexuality. Learn more about Jallen Rix by reading his book, "Ex-Gay No Way." Follow him on Twitter @gaysexpert and subscribe on Facebook.

Sexpert? Can I Interview You?

GetLusty is all about recommending tools, tips and other active ways to improve your relationship and have better sex. Therefore, we wanted to invite participation from the sex education, psychology, psychiatry and sociology community. We've already interviewed nearly a dozen sex educators and therapists.

Learn from the best

How do world renowned sex educators, sexologists or sex therapists recommend you make love better? What are some best practices for improving our sexual experiences as couples? 

Are you a sexpert?

We invite sex educators, sex startup owners, sex workers, sex therapists and sexologists onto our podcast series to talk improving intimacy & empowering your sexual life. Haven't heard our podcasts? We've interviewed greats like Megan Andelloux, Shanna Katz and numerous others. They're on SoundCloud. A more complete list of sexpert interviews are available here.

Would you like to be featured to our growing international audience? Fill out the form below & a GetLusty rep will get back to you to schedule an interview with our Chief Lust Officer, Erica Grigg. Want to get in touch with her about business opportunities? E-mail her directly at erica@getlusty.com.

3 Things That Can Kill Intimacy

We've stumbled upon people who feel they've got the perfect sex life. We've been pleasantly surprised and curious. Are we the only ones to experience these sex killers? We think not. If these things are happening to you, you're likely feeling the pain in your love life.

One of the main reasons why GetLusty was created was to help couples have better sex and a more fulfilling relationship. One of the most important parts of a relationship is intimacy. On the contrary, one of the biggest issues in relationships is the lack of intimacy. There are plenty of reasons as to why couples have low levels of intimacy in relationships. GetLusty writer Crimson Love reports on what life distractions can kill intimacy in your relationship.

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#1 Work

Work plays a huge part in lack of intimacy.

If you are extremely career focused and work 9-5 or later every single day when will you have time to spend with your partner?

By the time you get home all you want to do is eat dinner, maybe watch your favorite TV show and go to bed. This daily routine repeats the next day and could soon become a destructive cycle.

#2 Children

Having children (bless their sweet little souls) can put a damper on intimacy. In the early stages of life, they take up a huge portion of your time.

Even as they get older there are soccer game to attend, PTA meetings, play dates, and birthday parties.

After all that carpooling and running around, when everyone is finally home, you still have to make dinner and help out with homework. By the time good night kisses are given and the little ones are tucked into bed, you are tuckered out and ready to collapse.

#3 Family

On top of work and the kids, you also have family to deal with- which can be more emotionally draining than anything. Tension between your in-laws or immediate family can put you in a funk for awhile.

If you are a couple that has older parents who need just as much care just they will often need to be looked after and will need help with certain tasks. Taking care of older parents can also leave little to no time for intimacy and can even cause stress in your relationship.

You might be thinking to yourself, "Yes, this is sounds like me and my lover. But at least we still have sex." Yes, you may be having sex but ask yourself this: Is it the same routine sex? Are you using the same sex positions and having sex at the same time of the day? When you are all finished, do you roll over and fall asleep? This may work for some but for most, this won't work forever. Your stagnant routine may be killing your intimacy.

Look out for part two as GetLusty helps you distinguish the difference between sex and intimacy.

With love from, Get Lusty!

This is a guest post by our very own Crimson Love. Crimson is our resident BDSM fetish expert. If you don't see Crimson out dining with her adoring boyfriend, you'll find her reading books on innovation or finance. Crimson is currently finishing off her Bachelor's, she is passionate about food, photography, music and especially sex--and she's not afraid to talk about it. With everyone!

Have story ideas? Get in touch with Crimson Love at amber@getlusty.com.

4 Ways To Get Your Intimacy Back

Intimacy, it's crucial to a successful relationship. Here it is! The final part in our series on intimacy. To briefly recap, part one discussed the things that can kill your intimacy. Part two discussed the difference between sex and intimacy. Here in part three, we are going to give a few ways to infuse the intimacy back into your love and sex life.

Our Crimson Love reports.


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Getting into a rut and getting distracted is easy but getting out of one is harder. Don't fear though! GetLusty is here to provide some ways to get your intimacy back.

1. Schedule

Scheduling may sound really unsexy, but when you have an extremely busy life it is one of the best things you can do your relationship. Scheduling allows you time to plan out your activities like: taking a couples bubble bath together and giving each other massages.

2. Leave distractions out of the bedroom

We know that this will be terribly difficult for some but, you have to try. Letting work bleed into your private life only provides distractions. Leave the television out of your bedroom too! A study by an Italian sexologist has found that couples who have a TV set in their bedroom have sex half as often as those who don’t. If that's not incentive for you, I don't know what is!

3. Go to places you have not gone before or don't go often

When I say this I don't mean literally. I mean go to places emotionally. That emotional connection is really important. Cuddle more, fantasize together, get goofy, get angry, get sad. Do it all and do it together. That emotional journey will allow you to learn together and bond. You will become more aware of your partner's emotional needs. The awareness you gain will make you want to fulfill your partners emotional needs in and out of bed.

4. Be present

I cannot stress this enough! If you are not there in the moment with your lover and you're just going through the motions you have become a sexual zombie! Be present and enjoy the time you spend together.

Sex without intimacy can be nice. But making a habit of having sex without intimacy can put you and your lover in a rut. Prevent the rut by making time, scheduling, leaving out distractions and getting emotionally adventurous together.

With love from, Get Lusty!


This is a guest post by our very own Crimson Love.

Crimson is our resident BDSM fetish expert. If you don't see Crimson out dining with her adoring boyfriend, you'll find her reading books on innovation or finance. Crimson is currently finishing off her Bachelor's, she is passionate about food, photography, music and especially sex--and she's not afraid to talk about it. With everyone!

Have story ideas? Get in touch with Crimson Love at amber@getlusty.com.

The Difference Between Sex & Intimacy

Sex and intimacy aren't the same thing. Here at GetLusty, we like to encourage great sex and intimacy. We also like to encourage personal education when it comes to matters of the heart and body. In the first article in our series about intimacy, we discussed a few examples of things that can kill your intimacy and put you in a sexual rut. After reading part one, you might be confused in the references to sex and intimacy, as most use them interchangeably. Here are the definitions and differences between sex and intimacy. So here's part two in a 3 part series. GetLusty writer Crimson Love reports.

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Sex

Sex and intimacy are not the same thing. While sex is an intimate act, that doesn't mean it's full of meaning and intimacy.

According to Dictionary.com sex is, "The act carried out for procreation or for pleasure in which, typically, the insertion of the male's erect penis into the female's vagina is followed by rhythmic thrusting usually culminating in orgasm". This definition says nothing about intimacy. In fact the definition of sex seems quite clinical doesn't it? You can have sex without intimacy, if you just go through the motions and are not mindfully present. You become a sexual zombie.

Intimacy

Again from dictionary.com, intimacy is, "A close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group. Or, an act or expression serving as a token of familiarity, affection, or the like: to allow the intimacy of using first names". Nothing in this definition talks about sex or making love.

To simply put it in relation to this series, sex is the act and intimacy is the love, thought, effort, time and romance you put into it.

Now that you know what affects intimacy negatively and the difference between sex and intimacy, be on the look out for Part Three: ways to infuse the intimacy back into your love life!

With love from, Get Lusty!

This is a guest post by our very own Crimson Love.

Crimson is our resident BDSM fetish expert. If you don't see Crimson out dining with her adoring boyfriend, you'll find her reading books on innovation or finance. Crimson is currently finishing off her Bachelor's, she is passionate about food, photography, music and especially sex--and she's not afraid to talk about it. With everyone!

Have story ideas? Get in touch with Crimson Love at amber@getlusty.com.

6 Tips for Getting Started with BDSM

When you're full of turkey, you're probably thinking no sex is possible right now. No, no. This is the perfect time for a little kink. Your stomach is full, you're just about to fall asleep. And then crack. Their hand hits your rear end and you perk up quicker than a V8 engine. Just because 50 Shades of Grey September came to a close doesn't mean you haven't stopped thinking about BDSM. Haven't experimented yet? The well acclaimed submissive & BDSM sex nerd Lilly Rose is here to talk about getting started with BDSM. Make sure to read the sexual negotiation article, as well as the dominant and submissive traits articles, too!

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Without ado, Lilly Rose delves into getting started with BDSM for newbies. Not sure how to start off? Try these things first!

#1 Be honest

Know what you want and know what your play partner's beliefs are. Have honest and open discussions. In BDSM it is absolutely necessary, for safety reasons, to be upfront about everything.

#2 Embrace your fetishes

Do you like to be teased with a feather? Do you like the idea of being tied up? Do you like the thought of being punished with a spanking? Those are your fetishes, now embrace them! Now for you doms out there: if you like doing the spanking and teasing, then get yourself a sub and go to town!

#3 Negotiate 

Negotiation is crucial to having some safe BDSM playtime. Sit down with your dom or sub and discuss your limits, your safe word, safe action and aftercare. Make a list and if needed, negotiate changes later. Remember, be honest and open about everything.

#4 Know your limits and create a safe word

Hard limits - Things that must not be done. If a dom tries to push you into something you are not comfortable with, set him straight or move on.

Soft limits - Things you are not quite sure about doing in that moment but could agree to later.

Safe word - The word you utter when you absolutely want the play to end. “No” doesn’t cut it. So another word is absolutely necessary to let your dom know when to stop.

Safe action - The action used when your safe word is unavailable and want to stop play. You need a safe action for times you can't use your safe word, i.e. gagging.

#5 Aftercare 

Let’s talk about aftercare. Aftercare is crucial! Aftercare is your dom or play partner checking in on you and making sure you are alright after a scene. This may range from putting ointment on your butt after a paddling to cuddling. It is really important that he or she asks if anything upset you, especially if something made you feel unexpectedly uncomfortable during a scene. This may happen with even the best planning and the best dom. That is why aftercare must always be done!

Feeling good is the ultimate goal of any kind of BDSM play! But as in all sub/dom relationships, trust has to be built up before any kind of intense play. This takes time. You are not going to be jumping into that dungeon right away and being beaten with a belt. That would be foolish for a beginner. Never rush into a relationship with a dom in the BDSM world.

#6 Be safe

Most of all, and I can’t stress this enough, if you want to try BDSM you have to be safe. You should always use a condom and do your research beforehand. BDSM is about testing your limits and going beyond the edge. The more you know about your fetish, the safer you will be going into actualizing it.

Lilly Rose was a kink blogger, geeky Ivy League graduate activist and lover of great doms. Lilly recently completed @letitlingeron and just recently ended her blog into the journey of the world of kink. Lily also writes for Mindchaotica and Evolvedworld, and her Erotica (fiction and non-fiction) can be found at Literotica.

Have More Sex. Schedule it!

It's time to open the bag of GetLusty questions.

We get this question all the time. According to Today, it's one of the four biggest marriage problems. Marriage problems can lead to bad sex, so that's why we're going to be reporting on the psychological elements of having better sex soon.

Before then, we answer a readers' question.

***

Reader question

"Dear GetLusty,

I don't think my husband really wants to have sex. We're both so busy, whenever I have free time, we end up too tired to make love. How do I have more sex with my husband?

Signed,
Need to cum"

Dear need to cum,

That sucks. Many of us at GetLusty have experienced this problem. Including me.

There could be several solutions based on what you and your husband express your love. However, one full-proff way is a good start.

From what we've heard from sex educators like Shanna Katz and sexologists like Melissa Jones is scheduling is the first step to having more sex. She Knows also recommends this essential practice. This isn't just for you--it's for you and hubby!

OK, you might be thinking: that's going to be the ultimate in boring! The short answer? You'd be surprised, actually. Scheduling sex may be the best thing you've ever done for your sexual relationship.

Below are several tips I've used for successfully scheduling sex, even when we're both busy.

1. Tell your lover you'd love to make love with them more frequently

2. During that conversation, make sure not to get defensive. It's about having a better relationship, not making your significant other feel bad.

3. Ask when you both might be able to schedule a (30-minute? 1-hour? 2 hour?) window to make love this week. Would you like to do it 3 times weekly? 2 times weekly? What's the maximum and minimum you'd both like to make love weekly?

4. Agree to those standards.

5. Once the day rolls around, make sure to get prepared with toys, lubricant or other accessories if you'd like. Want to try BDSM? Anal sex or something else? Chat briefly, negotiate your sexual needs and enjoy!

6. Once you both have completed your week of amazing sex (or sensual) experiences, celebrate! You both are committed to your relationship. You're awesome!

7. Keep it up! Every week, make sure to re-access if you're not keeping up with your goals.

Hope that helps!

This is post by Erica Grigg, our Founder and Chief Lust Officer. She's a writer, marketer, social entrepreneur and sex geek. She wants to end boring sex. 

If you don't see Erica riding around downtown, Chicago in her beach cruiser or at a diner with her adoring husband, you see her chatting up the tech community about the importance of sex and love in marriage. Follow Erica on Twitter @ericagrigg or subscribe via Facebook, Google+ and LinkedIn.

Want to connect about writing, or business partnership with a woman-run business that cares? E-mail me directly at erica@getlusty.com.