FemDom Series #2: Intro to Cuckolding

It's still Fifty Shades of Grey September! So we get to talk about dominance, "FemDom" or Female Domination as a duality in BDSM play. Just like it's title, the female takes on the Dominant role, and the male, the submissive. On the outside, this relationship is very similar to other relationship gender configurations in BDSM coupling. On the inside however, there are a few areas of play and fetish which are uniquely intrinsic to this particular dynamic. Last week in FemDom Series #1, Portia waxed enthusiastically about the erotic joys of Forced Feminization in FemDom play.

This week we're continuing our exploration in this boundlessly sexy realm with another fetish unique to this dynamic; Cuckolding. This scene involves three people, which will also take a lot of talking. Even if it's just a fantasy at this point, review & learn.

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Talk, talk, talk

I want to remind you all, before we go too deeply here, that all of the play in BDSM that I speak of is consensual. The key to healthy sexual expression is that everyone participating is a consenting adult. At the core of this fetish, as with many others in BDSM, the submissive has already given their permission to the dominant, although from the outside looking in it may seem otherwise. Before engaging in any of these activities with your partner, I suggest reading Negotiation 101.

What is Cuckolding?  

Cuckolding is a fetish in which the submissive male gets off sexually on the humiliation of watching his Mistress pleasured by other men. Sometimes, it does not even have to include watching, and can come (pun intended) from just knowing they are being pleased by others. It is unique to FemDom relationships in that, primarily, this fetish subculture centers around the female as Dominant, and the male as submissive.

Unlike most masochistic play in BDSM where the submissive gets off on physical pain, Cuckolds, or "cucks", are aroused by the psychological pain of humiliation.

It's an intensely cerebral fetish. It is a literal "mind fuck"; requiring a level of intellectual cunning that goes beyond the skill of wielding of a crop or a flogger. In addition to the voyeuristic component of Cuckolding, the humiliation aspect is paramount to the submissive. They want to be told, and shown, that they are not worthy to please their Mistress sexually, that another man/woman is better, more deserving, and more desirous than he will ever hope to be. The mental anguish they suffer caused by their Mistress is akin to the pleasure of her physical touch.

What's Mine is Mine, and What's Yours is Mine

Inside this fetish are some interesting facets of play that may, or may not, be part of the relationship negotiated. Orgasm control, orgasm denial, and forced chastity are often part of Cuckolding. All of these techniques are used for two specific reasons. One, to remind the submissive that his body, and all of it's pleasures, belongs to the FemDom alone, and two, to further his humiliation. A FemDom may limit how and when the submissive is allowed to orgasm, let alone touch himself sexually. She may also withhold this as either a form of punishment, or training, depending on the relationship dynamics. The pleasure he receives from being her "cuck" should be all he desires.

Mocking of his cock size, lack of masculinity to her liking, and of his utter lack of skill are all part of this. His humiliation is carried out in the reinforcement of these notions. In some cases, total celibacy through forced chastity may be required of the submissive. To ensure his chastity, some FemDoms will require their submissive to wear a chastity device to keep his cock under lock and key, literally. Only she gets to decide when, where, and how her property gets used, and this device serves as a reminder. I hate it when people play with my toys without my permission, don't you?

A Word On "Felching"

His pathetic cock might not be worthy to please you, but that worthless cuck is good for something! Put him to work and avoid the messy hassles of clean-up. Some FemDoms, after allowing their submissive the pleasure of hearing, knowing, or watching a real man please her, will give her cuck the gift of cleaning her up after sex.

This is done by eating her out, and sucking all the other man's cum out of her vagina. In fetish circles this is known as "Felching". The degradation provided by this is a thrill for the cuck. He feels useful in knowing that, while he is not only not worthy of her, he can clean up after the man who is. He is rewarded the pleasure of servitude, and of the debasement at her discretion. That truly is the gift that keeps on giving!

Sometimes, such a pleasure is not allowed the submissive. No need to forgo the fun! Consider giving that cuck a cum facial instead. Some FemDoms will save the used cum-filled condoms from their chosen desirable partners, and empty them on the face of their cuck, giving him a "facial" with the more worthy partner's cum. Equally humiliating, and creative. You may also choose to empty it onto a small plate for him to lick clean as you watch. It really is up to your own personal devious taste. Oh, the puns!

As Always, Safety First!

Although the activities I described involve higher-risk behavior in terms of STI (sexually transmitted infection), they have often been a common practice within Cuckolding. If you engage in these, it's important to know, and trust, the sexual health status of all parties involved. This is care for you, as well as your submissive's health and well-being.

Humiliation play of any kind of a delicate sword that must be wielded with precision and care. It's important to really know and trust your partner well, the more intensely involved your relationship dynamic is. Your not only playing with someones body, but with the intimate and vulnerable corners of their psyche. A bruise from a misplaced flogger is easy to see and goes away after a few weeks, while a psychological bruise is invisible and can be devastatingly long-lasting. Trust and knowledge of your partner is imperative before engaging to this depth. Remember humiliation during a negotiate scene is wonderful, while humiliation after a scene has ended is irresponsible and damaging to one's trust.

Care for your submissive's safety, both physical and emotional. during and after scene, are key. Depending on the structure of your relationship, whether scene by scene, or 24/7 TPE (Total Power Exchange), aftercare will vary greatly. Aftercare can vary from "cuddling" to "clean up and let me alone for awhile". Talk about what both you, and your submissive need after scene, just as much as what you need during.

While Cuckolding in FemDom relationships may be for some, it's not for all. It can be an intensely erotic form of play. Whatever you decide: have fun! If you're not enjoying yourselves, than what's the point? Live juicy my fellow sexplorers! Have more questions about Cuckolding? Contact Portia Blush below for more information!

Seeking to shatter the myth that "nice girls don't talk about sex", and somehow trying to survive her mid-30's in suburbia without large doses of vodka, Portia Blush is a saucy Sapiosexual who shares with an infectious wit and a candid vulnerability about her explorations of sex, love, intimacy, kink, the occasional obsession, and everything in between; one true story at a time.

She has over 10 years experience playing Switchy in the BD/SM scene, and has explored a myriad of relationship configurations from monogamous to poly. She holds a BFA from some hoity-toity NYC art school, and still ponders the meaning of life on a regular basis. Follow her on twitter @erogenousblog and Facebook and of course, ErogenoUS her blog.

FemDom Series #1: Intro to Forced Feminization

Quick note: Though the title says, "forced" we ONLY do consensual sex. So though it's forceful, it's ALL consensual. As you'll read below, talk plenty before and during domination.

It's Fifty Shades of Grey September here at GetLusty. While the latest trend in erotic literature seems to focus on the male dominant/female submissive duality, there are many more delicious combinations to explore in the vast and varied world of BDSM play. The first in a series, we're talking about female dominance! Allow me to introduce you to the gloriously seductive world of female domination! Female dominance, or more commonly known as "femdom" in the dominant submissive (d/s) community, is where the dominant partner is female, and the submissive is male; a departure from the stereotypical relationship portrayed in the 50 Shades of Grey.

Portia Blush reports.

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Femdom offers so many wonderful facets of play to experience with your partner, and while there is no predetermined menu of activities, there are several that are quite inherent to this special dynamic. My personal favorite of these is forced feminization; where gender play and the art of humiliation are lovingly blended with skill and finesse. This style of domination is unique to this dynamic solely because of the gender bias that exists within our culture that women are the physically and emotionally weaker sex. And while that is a definite negative as far as culture and gender equality goes, it's a huge plus for us ladies in the domain of d/s play.

As with all BDSM play, consent is the key to the sexiness, so keep this in mind as you are reading. Do read sexual negotiation 101 and 6 tips for getting starting with BDSM. A submissive male who is into "forced femme" is craving this kind of treatment. While you may think at first, from the outside looking in, that it's cruel and degrading to emasculate him, you're right, and that's exactly how he wants it! Both the dominant and submissive share a fantasy; the dominant is like the conductor of the symphony, and the submissive, her orchestra.

Now that we've gotten all that serious stuff out of the way, let's talk fun! Forced feminization is just that; fun! Ladies, I cannot emphasize enough the creative potential in this style of play.

From the physical aspects like dressing your submissive up in pretty lingerie and makeup, to the more psychological side of play with name calling and behavior modification, you can have unlimited hours of amusement! Here are a few suggestions for exploring your forced femme play.

#1 Let's play dress up

Dressing your submissive man up in lingerie is good, and the more obnoxiously girly it is, the better! Pick very feminine colors like pinks and purples, and fabrics with lots of frilly ruffles and lace. Or, you can buy some of those panties that say things like "Princess" written in glittery letters across the bottom.

Up the ante on the humiliation factor by taking him shopping, and force him to pick them out, making it obvious to the sales clerk that he's getting them in his size. You can do the same with high heels, makeup, and fun hair accessories. I like to make a list, a very specific list, and force them to shop for it all alone, with me watching from a distance to make sure they do as told. Have a fashion show, and make your new toy show off all his new girly wear! Make sure he walks like a lady, or you'll punish him for his transgressions. Do you have other kinky female friends? Invite them over to watch!

#2 What's in a name?

When you name something, you own it! Give that boy a new name more befitting of his sissified self. You can take his male name and feminize it (Steve = Stevina), or you can call him more impersonal derogatory names like "slut" or "sissyboy". You could always try to find out what his mother would have called him if he had been born a girl, and use that. It adds a little something, don't you think? Honestly, why pick just one? Call that new toy of yours anything you want.

#3 What's yours is mine, and what's mine is mine!

Make sure your new sissyboy knows that his body is your property, and therefore yours whenever for the taking. Grope, grab, fondle, and probe him at your whim. Asses him like the piece of meat he is. Buy a good quality strap-on harness and an assortment of dildos, and let the fun begin! Make that sissy get down on his knees and suck your dildo as he gazes appreciatively up into your eyes, and when you're satisfied enough with his performance, turn him around, bend him over, and take him anally (pegging) as he thanks you repeatedly for allowing him the pleasure.

#4 Earning his keep

A clean house is a happy house, so put that sissy to work! Dress him up in whatever is most appealing to you, and have him get to work on that laundry and mopping that kitchen floor.

 Some femdoms work the "sissymaid" aspect in here with a cute maid outfit, but I find that a man wearing a bra, panties, stockings, and a pair of high heels is sufficient enough.

Plus, it allows for easy access to your property, and you just never know when the mood will strike. Does it seem your new toy doesn't understand his place, or is not performing his chores to your liking? I like to make handmade signs to hang around my sissy's neck to entertain myself in this case. "Portia's Dirty Slut" always looks so nice. Not inspiring enough motivation? I find that taking pictures of this whole scenario works perfectly, and always seems to inspire a sissyslut to work harder. I hate having to make them mop my floors twice, wouldn't you?

Try these all tips separately, or combine them for new and exciting adventures! Your imagination is your only limit, and your submissive is just waiting to fulfill your every wish and desire. May your foray into forced feminization bring you both abounding pleasure!

Seeking to shatter the myth that "nice girls don't talk about sex", and somehow trying to survive her mid-30's in suburbia without large doses of vodka, Portia Blush is a saucy Sapiosexual who shares with an infectious wit and a candid vulnerability about her explorations of sex, love, intimacy, kink, the occasional obsession, and everything in between; one true story at a time.

She has over 10 years experience playing Switchy in the BD/SM scene, and has explored a myriad of relationship configurations from monogamous to poly. She holds a BFA from some hoity-toity NYC art school, and still ponders the meaning of life on a regular basis. Follow her on twitter @erogenousblog and Facebook and of course, ErogenoUS her blog.