FemDom Series #2: Intro to Cuckolding

It's still Fifty Shades of Grey September! So we get to talk about dominance, "FemDom" or Female Domination as a duality in BDSM play. Just like it's title, the female takes on the Dominant role, and the male, the submissive. On the outside, this relationship is very similar to other relationship gender configurations in BDSM coupling. On the inside however, there are a few areas of play and fetish which are uniquely intrinsic to this particular dynamic. Last week in FemDom Series #1, Portia waxed enthusiastically about the erotic joys of Forced Feminization in FemDom play.

This week we're continuing our exploration in this boundlessly sexy realm with another fetish unique to this dynamic; Cuckolding. This scene involves three people, which will also take a lot of talking. Even if it's just a fantasy at this point, review & learn.

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Talk, talk, talk

I want to remind you all, before we go too deeply here, that all of the play in BDSM that I speak of is consensual. The key to healthy sexual expression is that everyone participating is a consenting adult. At the core of this fetish, as with many others in BDSM, the submissive has already given their permission to the dominant, although from the outside looking in it may seem otherwise. Before engaging in any of these activities with your partner, I suggest reading Negotiation 101.

What is Cuckolding?  

Cuckolding is a fetish in which the submissive male gets off sexually on the humiliation of watching his Mistress pleasured by other men. Sometimes, it does not even have to include watching, and can come (pun intended) from just knowing they are being pleased by others. It is unique to FemDom relationships in that, primarily, this fetish subculture centers around the female as Dominant, and the male as submissive.

Unlike most masochistic play in BDSM where the submissive gets off on physical pain, Cuckolds, or "cucks", are aroused by the psychological pain of humiliation.

It's an intensely cerebral fetish. It is a literal "mind fuck"; requiring a level of intellectual cunning that goes beyond the skill of wielding of a crop or a flogger. In addition to the voyeuristic component of Cuckolding, the humiliation aspect is paramount to the submissive. They want to be told, and shown, that they are not worthy to please their Mistress sexually, that another man/woman is better, more deserving, and more desirous than he will ever hope to be. The mental anguish they suffer caused by their Mistress is akin to the pleasure of her physical touch.

What's Mine is Mine, and What's Yours is Mine

Inside this fetish are some interesting facets of play that may, or may not, be part of the relationship negotiated. Orgasm control, orgasm denial, and forced chastity are often part of Cuckolding. All of these techniques are used for two specific reasons. One, to remind the submissive that his body, and all of it's pleasures, belongs to the FemDom alone, and two, to further his humiliation. A FemDom may limit how and when the submissive is allowed to orgasm, let alone touch himself sexually. She may also withhold this as either a form of punishment, or training, depending on the relationship dynamics. The pleasure he receives from being her "cuck" should be all he desires.

Mocking of his cock size, lack of masculinity to her liking, and of his utter lack of skill are all part of this. His humiliation is carried out in the reinforcement of these notions. In some cases, total celibacy through forced chastity may be required of the submissive. To ensure his chastity, some FemDoms will require their submissive to wear a chastity device to keep his cock under lock and key, literally. Only she gets to decide when, where, and how her property gets used, and this device serves as a reminder. I hate it when people play with my toys without my permission, don't you?

A Word On "Felching"

His pathetic cock might not be worthy to please you, but that worthless cuck is good for something! Put him to work and avoid the messy hassles of clean-up. Some FemDoms, after allowing their submissive the pleasure of hearing, knowing, or watching a real man please her, will give her cuck the gift of cleaning her up after sex.

This is done by eating her out, and sucking all the other man's cum out of her vagina. In fetish circles this is known as "Felching". The degradation provided by this is a thrill for the cuck. He feels useful in knowing that, while he is not only not worthy of her, he can clean up after the man who is. He is rewarded the pleasure of servitude, and of the debasement at her discretion. That truly is the gift that keeps on giving!

Sometimes, such a pleasure is not allowed the submissive. No need to forgo the fun! Consider giving that cuck a cum facial instead. Some FemDoms will save the used cum-filled condoms from their chosen desirable partners, and empty them on the face of their cuck, giving him a "facial" with the more worthy partner's cum. Equally humiliating, and creative. You may also choose to empty it onto a small plate for him to lick clean as you watch. It really is up to your own personal devious taste. Oh, the puns!

As Always, Safety First!

Although the activities I described involve higher-risk behavior in terms of STI (sexually transmitted infection), they have often been a common practice within Cuckolding. If you engage in these, it's important to know, and trust, the sexual health status of all parties involved. This is care for you, as well as your submissive's health and well-being.

Humiliation play of any kind of a delicate sword that must be wielded with precision and care. It's important to really know and trust your partner well, the more intensely involved your relationship dynamic is. Your not only playing with someones body, but with the intimate and vulnerable corners of their psyche. A bruise from a misplaced flogger is easy to see and goes away after a few weeks, while a psychological bruise is invisible and can be devastatingly long-lasting. Trust and knowledge of your partner is imperative before engaging to this depth. Remember humiliation during a negotiate scene is wonderful, while humiliation after a scene has ended is irresponsible and damaging to one's trust.

Care for your submissive's safety, both physical and emotional. during and after scene, are key. Depending on the structure of your relationship, whether scene by scene, or 24/7 TPE (Total Power Exchange), aftercare will vary greatly. Aftercare can vary from "cuddling" to "clean up and let me alone for awhile". Talk about what both you, and your submissive need after scene, just as much as what you need during.

While Cuckolding in FemDom relationships may be for some, it's not for all. It can be an intensely erotic form of play. Whatever you decide: have fun! If you're not enjoying yourselves, than what's the point? Live juicy my fellow sexplorers! Have more questions about Cuckolding? Contact Portia Blush below for more information!

Seeking to shatter the myth that "nice girls don't talk about sex", and somehow trying to survive her mid-30's in suburbia without large doses of vodka, Portia Blush is a saucy Sapiosexual who shares with an infectious wit and a candid vulnerability about her explorations of sex, love, intimacy, kink, the occasional obsession, and everything in between; one true story at a time.

She has over 10 years experience playing Switchy in the BD/SM scene, and has explored a myriad of relationship configurations from monogamous to poly. She holds a BFA from some hoity-toity NYC art school, and still ponders the meaning of life on a regular basis. Follow her on twitter @erogenousblog and Facebook and of course, ErogenoUS her blog.

FemDom Series #1: Intro to Forced Feminization

Quick note: Though the title says, "forced" we ONLY do consensual sex. So though it's forceful, it's ALL consensual. As you'll read below, talk plenty before and during domination.

It's Fifty Shades of Grey September here at GetLusty. While the latest trend in erotic literature seems to focus on the male dominant/female submissive duality, there are many more delicious combinations to explore in the vast and varied world of BDSM play. The first in a series, we're talking about female dominance! Allow me to introduce you to the gloriously seductive world of female domination! Female dominance, or more commonly known as "femdom" in the dominant submissive (d/s) community, is where the dominant partner is female, and the submissive is male; a departure from the stereotypical relationship portrayed in the 50 Shades of Grey.

Portia Blush reports.

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Femdom offers so many wonderful facets of play to experience with your partner, and while there is no predetermined menu of activities, there are several that are quite inherent to this special dynamic. My personal favorite of these is forced feminization; where gender play and the art of humiliation are lovingly blended with skill and finesse. This style of domination is unique to this dynamic solely because of the gender bias that exists within our culture that women are the physically and emotionally weaker sex. And while that is a definite negative as far as culture and gender equality goes, it's a huge plus for us ladies in the domain of d/s play.

As with all BDSM play, consent is the key to the sexiness, so keep this in mind as you are reading. Do read sexual negotiation 101 and 6 tips for getting starting with BDSM. A submissive male who is into "forced femme" is craving this kind of treatment. While you may think at first, from the outside looking in, that it's cruel and degrading to emasculate him, you're right, and that's exactly how he wants it! Both the dominant and submissive share a fantasy; the dominant is like the conductor of the symphony, and the submissive, her orchestra.

Now that we've gotten all that serious stuff out of the way, let's talk fun! Forced feminization is just that; fun! Ladies, I cannot emphasize enough the creative potential in this style of play.

From the physical aspects like dressing your submissive up in pretty lingerie and makeup, to the more psychological side of play with name calling and behavior modification, you can have unlimited hours of amusement! Here are a few suggestions for exploring your forced femme play.

#1 Let's play dress up

Dressing your submissive man up in lingerie is good, and the more obnoxiously girly it is, the better! Pick very feminine colors like pinks and purples, and fabrics with lots of frilly ruffles and lace. Or, you can buy some of those panties that say things like "Princess" written in glittery letters across the bottom.

Up the ante on the humiliation factor by taking him shopping, and force him to pick them out, making it obvious to the sales clerk that he's getting them in his size. You can do the same with high heels, makeup, and fun hair accessories. I like to make a list, a very specific list, and force them to shop for it all alone, with me watching from a distance to make sure they do as told. Have a fashion show, and make your new toy show off all his new girly wear! Make sure he walks like a lady, or you'll punish him for his transgressions. Do you have other kinky female friends? Invite them over to watch!

#2 What's in a name?

When you name something, you own it! Give that boy a new name more befitting of his sissified self. You can take his male name and feminize it (Steve = Stevina), or you can call him more impersonal derogatory names like "slut" or "sissyboy". You could always try to find out what his mother would have called him if he had been born a girl, and use that. It adds a little something, don't you think? Honestly, why pick just one? Call that new toy of yours anything you want.

#3 What's yours is mine, and what's mine is mine!

Make sure your new sissyboy knows that his body is your property, and therefore yours whenever for the taking. Grope, grab, fondle, and probe him at your whim. Asses him like the piece of meat he is. Buy a good quality strap-on harness and an assortment of dildos, and let the fun begin! Make that sissy get down on his knees and suck your dildo as he gazes appreciatively up into your eyes, and when you're satisfied enough with his performance, turn him around, bend him over, and take him anally (pegging) as he thanks you repeatedly for allowing him the pleasure.

#4 Earning his keep

A clean house is a happy house, so put that sissy to work! Dress him up in whatever is most appealing to you, and have him get to work on that laundry and mopping that kitchen floor.

 Some femdoms work the "sissymaid" aspect in here with a cute maid outfit, but I find that a man wearing a bra, panties, stockings, and a pair of high heels is sufficient enough.

Plus, it allows for easy access to your property, and you just never know when the mood will strike. Does it seem your new toy doesn't understand his place, or is not performing his chores to your liking? I like to make handmade signs to hang around my sissy's neck to entertain myself in this case. "Portia's Dirty Slut" always looks so nice. Not inspiring enough motivation? I find that taking pictures of this whole scenario works perfectly, and always seems to inspire a sissyslut to work harder. I hate having to make them mop my floors twice, wouldn't you?

Try these all tips separately, or combine them for new and exciting adventures! Your imagination is your only limit, and your submissive is just waiting to fulfill your every wish and desire. May your foray into forced feminization bring you both abounding pleasure!

Seeking to shatter the myth that "nice girls don't talk about sex", and somehow trying to survive her mid-30's in suburbia without large doses of vodka, Portia Blush is a saucy Sapiosexual who shares with an infectious wit and a candid vulnerability about her explorations of sex, love, intimacy, kink, the occasional obsession, and everything in between; one true story at a time.

She has over 10 years experience playing Switchy in the BD/SM scene, and has explored a myriad of relationship configurations from monogamous to poly. She holds a BFA from some hoity-toity NYC art school, and still ponders the meaning of life on a regular basis. Follow her on twitter @erogenousblog and Facebook and of course, ErogenoUS her blog.

A Foray Into Foot Fetishism: a Story

Some think that having a foot fetish is weird. We think it's totally normal from a kinky perspective. And we think being kinky is hot! That's why we love stories about how individuals get involved with these. We're not just about how-to's. Though we'd love to present a how-to do a foot job (think hand job with your feet). Again, try to put away your bias of the foot fetish for now. Just read with an open mind.

Here is a personal essay from Portia Blush, who writes extensively on BDSM and Kink. This is a story of how Portia got into foot fetishes, and how she's using it to her advantage years later.

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My first personal experience with foot worship came a few years before I delved into the BDSM world. I used to be a regular at showings of The Rocky Horror Picture Show on 8th Street in Manhattan when I first went to college in the early 90′s, and one of my fellow regulars, part of the group that took me in and quickly made me a part of their crew, loved feet. And when I say he loved feet, I mean he LOVED feet!

He loved watching me wiggle my toes, he got doe-eyed watching me arch my foot to stretch and point my toes, and as soon as I became aware of this through keen observation, I would do them more obviously in his presence. The not quite matured Dominant aspect of my nature thoroughly enjoyed this. I reveled in the thought that it was erotically torturous for him to watch me, and I took advantage of this whenever I could. It helped that I had an interest in him sexually, as sexuality ties heavily into D/s for me. In short, they are inextricably linked for me. Well, maybe not in all cases, but usually 95% of the time anyway.

The object of his affection: my feet

Soon, as he became comfortable with me, and aware that we shared a mutual attraction, I allowed this aspect of our relationship to grow. I remember one night where he literally massaged and rubbed my stocking feet for what seemed like an hour before one show.

I was somewhat repulsed by it at first, as I knew my tired, stocking-clad tootsies were definitely not the most pleasant smelling. Oh, but that was just like icing on the cake for him, as he totally got off on stinky feet, and the more it smelled like you had been walking around all day, the better! I wouldn’t even want to be near my feet after that, but to each his own. Good on ya, mate!

Another night I even allowed him to suck my toes and lick my feet. I know some women actually find this feeling erotic, no fetish included, but then, to me, it just felt weird. It certainly did nothing for me sexually, but he really enjoyed it, and so I acquiesced to his desire, as it certainly wasn’t a deal breaker. I suppose I should’ve looked at it like getting a foot massage with a mouth. I had another experience with my toes being sucked by a lover just a year or so ago, and um, let’s just say under the right circumstances, I think my toes have tiny clits on them, but I digress.)

My roots of foot fetishism

A few years later as I forayed into my experience with BDSM, I began to learn that this form of fetish had its roots in submission. Myself, a dominant female or mistress if you please, became well aware that my stiletto-sporting feet were in high demand by submissive men with foot fetishes. I intended to milk this fetish for all it was worth. And when I say worth, I mean I saw dollar signs.

I was not alone in my ingenuity either! My partner in crime and best friend, Domina Blue, saw the monumental eBay potential to be gleamed. She was not only a Domina like me, but shared my eBay obsession as well. Blue encouraged me to list my well-worn stockings, socks, high heels, and even busted-out old sneakers for auction. Alas, eBay didn’t like such auctions, and quickly cancelled them despite overwhelmingly rapid bidding response! Apparently the selling of erotically marketed used clothing did not jive with their policies. Foiled again. I’d expect a little more from a company from California, land of the “out there”!


eBanned: Did you know about it?

Ah, thank you, eBanned! eBanned is the cleverly created “adult only” auction site for all things fetish that are not allowed on eBay.

Smelly socks? Worn panties? Trashed out high heels? You name it, you can sell, or buy it, on eBanned. Honestly, you’re just going to throw out your old socks, so why do that when you can sell them to some foot-sniffing, sock lover for $20, who will love them in his own special way? And please don’t think me callus in that statement, as those loving footboys understand what a true pleasure it is that I allowed them.

Green & erotic

It’s not only a no-brainer as far as the profit margins go, but it’s also the most cleverly concealed form of recycling ever devised! And who doesn’t care about the environment these days, right? I was such an innovator in the realm of “repurposing” back then, and I didn’t even realize it. And hey, it’s like getting your shoes for free, because once you have worn them enough that you need new ones, you can end up selling your beat up heels for anywhere from half, up to what they originally cost you, or more! I sold a pair of 6″ red patent, ankle strap, stilettos that I had worn out for $85+ to a guy from Germany! They cost me less than half that. 

Of course it’s not just the object itself, but the symbolism behind it, as well as the scent infused in it. To smell your feet, see the wear and imagine your perfect feet carving a path across a crowded room as all eyes fell on you, and imagine the life you lived in them as they worship every aspect of your Goddesshood; that, it’s that those footboys desire. It could be a high heel, a sneaker, a cute cotton athletic sock, or the sexiest pair of silk stockings. It’s whatever their proclivity is, whatever fantasy you choose to weave, and whatever piece of your world you deem them fit to enjoy the morsel of.

I call that a win/win, don’t you?

This was originally posted to her blog erogenoUS.

Seeking to shatter the myth that "nice girls don't talk about sex", and somehow trying to survive her mid-30's in suburbia without large doses of vodka, Portia Blush is a saucy Sapiosexual who shares with an infectious wit and a candid vulnerability about her explorations of sex, love, intimacy, kink, the occasional obsession, and everything in between; one true story at a time.

She has over 10 years experience playing Switchy in the BD/SM scene, and has explored a myriad of relationship configurations from monogamous to poly. She holds a BFA from some hoity-toity NYC art school, and still ponders the meaning of life on a regular basis. Follow her on twitter @erogenousblog and Facebook and of course, ErogenoUS her blog.

On Sexual Positions: An Erotic Story

We inspired an amazing post on ErogenoUS this past weekend. Read on for lusty insights into the concept of sexual positions. It's the first erotic story inspired by GetLusty, and of course, we wanted to share it with you!

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I didn’t even attempt trying to go to bed at a reasonable hour tonight. I’ve done that for the past two nights, but without fail, that big ripening moon in the sky did her best to keep me awake.

Blue moon, I had my friend in Italy ask you to be quieter for me tonight so I would sleep. Alas, you are a harsh mistress. Not a cell in my body asks for sleep as you peak at me through the curtains in my bedroom.

My friends over at GetLusty tweeted last night (yep, it’s a verb now, get used to it) asking what our favorite sexual positions were, and you know, other than names for the standard fare like Missionary and 69, I was really at a loss. I mean, I’m not sure some of my favorite positions even have names. I guess you could say I’m “creatively gymnastic”.

When I’m having really mind-blowing, heart-pumping, sweat-drenched, sheets are coming off the bed, “the house could fall down around me and I’d never even know” sex, I never really paused long enough to give much thought to what the things we were doing together were called.

All of our kinetic movements and gestures for positions are just that; gestures fed on the electric inertia of lustful bodies. There is no thinking at this point, if you’re lucky. There is no pause, no awareness of cognitive process.

 I’m plugged in. I’m an intrinsic charge in a circuit that hums and pulses with every leg thrown up and over your shoulder, every hand tightly clasped around your back dimpling into your flesh, or every hip driven back against you as you thrust into me from behind, using the length of my hair in your hands like reins.

What do I call that? How do I name that? How do I even do that justice with a few simple words?

Have you ever tried to describe a sexual position in one tweet? Let me just say, it’s not easy. It’s really challenging to be descriptive of such things with only 140 characters as your limit. Here is what it looked like when I sent it.

“@getlusty Modified coital alignment is right up there w/ man seated, w straddles cock, knees bent, feet flat on bed, leans back on her hands”

It just is slightly devoid of intensity and passion, which is so unlike what it actually feels like to experience. Then I’m supposed to find an even more abbreviated way to say that? However, if I were to tell you that one of my favorite positions is found in a moment, in an impulse.

I roll you over onto your back to straddle you, your cock throbs eagerly to be back inside me again as I hover above you holding you in anticipation. You can feel the heat of my pussy radiating down against your flesh, and your hands feverishly grab at my hips to pull me down onto you. I love the low growl that escapes your lips as you fill me, and the quake that follows through my body like the tremors in the strings of a well strum harp.

My gaze has never left the snare of yours. We are often like this, which is why I hunger to be in the wake of its hazel grasp. Slowly you raise yourself up, your weight now balanced on your hands pressed firmly into the sheets beneath us. I am like a fawn in the headlights of your desire. Encircling the amber skin of your back, hands sliding up along the curve of your spine, I draw your broad chest to meet the rise of my porcelain flesh.

I love the feeling of your chest hair grazing my pert rose nipples, and the heat that pours out of your skin as I press myself against you, and you fold your arms around my waist. Your voracious mouth finds mine with greedy impatience, and I can taste our sweat on your lips as I draw my tongue to yours. I long to know its intimate terrain, and each slow caress of my tongue paints my desire inside you, where only you can speak it.

I know because I sing the trail of yours left with tongue, teeth, and nail across my sinuous landscape. My right hand’s fingers have found their way up to be nested in the grasp of your short brown hair, and I brace myself against you, holding tightly to the swell of your shoulders with my left. On days when you would be in your head, you would interject that it has touches of gray, but that is of no concern to me. I’ll know you when only gray remains, even if we are no longer lovers such as this by then.

Our bodies ride together; a slow steady ebb and flow like a tide to shore, but we both feel the pull of our rampant need growing. I loosen myself from our embrace to lean back on the weight of my arms now, my hands planted firmly against the mattress cushioning us, and stretch my legs out, knee bent, behind you. Your tumescent cock drives itself deeper inside me, as I shift the weight of my hips forward against you.

You recline back onto your hands now, the cool sheet slipping against your fingertips as you find your steady against them. I watch your arms tremble as you climb higher to your edge with each fevered thrust of my pussy upon you. Our breaths come in quick gasps now, and with each grind of my hips against you I can feel the feverish spill of my juices devouring your manhood. I know how much it drives you wild with abandon to watch your cock glisten and drip with me, as you watch it part my lips, to slide, push, and plunge inside me, even when I am the one controlling our pace.

You…always know…just…how…to…push me…to the…edge where…I…am……bursting! I arch my back and throw my head back in shame at how you bring me there with such ease, as I come quaking upon you while watching the same insatiable peak crest and course through your taught frame. As our breaths slowly find themselves again, our sweat-covered bodies collapse into the bed underneath. I still have you inside me, and savor the feel of you until you begin to soften. Eventually I roll off of you, and turning myself, entangle my body in your awaiting arms to drift together into slumber.

Yeah, I guess we could call that position “The X Marks the Spot” to fit it into a tweet, but still, for me, it will always be so much more. After all, what’s in a name?

It’s almost 6am here. The moon is making her descent back into the trees. Maybe she’ll let me sleep now.

Thanks ZDNet for pic #1. Thanks ThisIsYourConscience for pic #2.

At the erogenoUS blog, you'll find the stories of one unnamed woman, navigating her erotic life without a helmet or safety harness.

Find her on Twitter and Facebook.