FemDom Series #1: Intro to Forced Feminization

Quick note: Though the title says, "forced" we ONLY do consensual sex. So though it's forceful, it's ALL consensual. As you'll read below, talk plenty before and during domination.

It's Fifty Shades of Grey September here at GetLusty. While the latest trend in erotic literature seems to focus on the male dominant/female submissive duality, there are many more delicious combinations to explore in the vast and varied world of BDSM play. The first in a series, we're talking about female dominance! Allow me to introduce you to the gloriously seductive world of female domination! Female dominance, or more commonly known as "femdom" in the dominant submissive (d/s) community, is where the dominant partner is female, and the submissive is male; a departure from the stereotypical relationship portrayed in the 50 Shades of Grey.

Portia Blush reports.

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Femdom offers so many wonderful facets of play to experience with your partner, and while there is no predetermined menu of activities, there are several that are quite inherent to this special dynamic. My personal favorite of these is forced feminization; where gender play and the art of humiliation are lovingly blended with skill and finesse. This style of domination is unique to this dynamic solely because of the gender bias that exists within our culture that women are the physically and emotionally weaker sex. And while that is a definite negative as far as culture and gender equality goes, it's a huge plus for us ladies in the domain of d/s play.

As with all BDSM play, consent is the key to the sexiness, so keep this in mind as you are reading. Do read sexual negotiation 101 and 6 tips for getting starting with BDSM. A submissive male who is into "forced femme" is craving this kind of treatment. While you may think at first, from the outside looking in, that it's cruel and degrading to emasculate him, you're right, and that's exactly how he wants it! Both the dominant and submissive share a fantasy; the dominant is like the conductor of the symphony, and the submissive, her orchestra.

Now that we've gotten all that serious stuff out of the way, let's talk fun! Forced feminization is just that; fun! Ladies, I cannot emphasize enough the creative potential in this style of play.

From the physical aspects like dressing your submissive up in pretty lingerie and makeup, to the more psychological side of play with name calling and behavior modification, you can have unlimited hours of amusement! Here are a few suggestions for exploring your forced femme play.

#1 Let's play dress up

Dressing your submissive man up in lingerie is good, and the more obnoxiously girly it is, the better! Pick very feminine colors like pinks and purples, and fabrics with lots of frilly ruffles and lace. Or, you can buy some of those panties that say things like "Princess" written in glittery letters across the bottom.

Up the ante on the humiliation factor by taking him shopping, and force him to pick them out, making it obvious to the sales clerk that he's getting them in his size. You can do the same with high heels, makeup, and fun hair accessories. I like to make a list, a very specific list, and force them to shop for it all alone, with me watching from a distance to make sure they do as told. Have a fashion show, and make your new toy show off all his new girly wear! Make sure he walks like a lady, or you'll punish him for his transgressions. Do you have other kinky female friends? Invite them over to watch!

#2 What's in a name?

When you name something, you own it! Give that boy a new name more befitting of his sissified self. You can take his male name and feminize it (Steve = Stevina), or you can call him more impersonal derogatory names like "slut" or "sissyboy". You could always try to find out what his mother would have called him if he had been born a girl, and use that. It adds a little something, don't you think? Honestly, why pick just one? Call that new toy of yours anything you want.

#3 What's yours is mine, and what's mine is mine!

Make sure your new sissyboy knows that his body is your property, and therefore yours whenever for the taking. Grope, grab, fondle, and probe him at your whim. Asses him like the piece of meat he is. Buy a good quality strap-on harness and an assortment of dildos, and let the fun begin! Make that sissy get down on his knees and suck your dildo as he gazes appreciatively up into your eyes, and when you're satisfied enough with his performance, turn him around, bend him over, and take him anally (pegging) as he thanks you repeatedly for allowing him the pleasure.

#4 Earning his keep

A clean house is a happy house, so put that sissy to work! Dress him up in whatever is most appealing to you, and have him get to work on that laundry and mopping that kitchen floor.

 Some femdoms work the "sissymaid" aspect in here with a cute maid outfit, but I find that a man wearing a bra, panties, stockings, and a pair of high heels is sufficient enough.

Plus, it allows for easy access to your property, and you just never know when the mood will strike. Does it seem your new toy doesn't understand his place, or is not performing his chores to your liking? I like to make handmade signs to hang around my sissy's neck to entertain myself in this case. "Portia's Dirty Slut" always looks so nice. Not inspiring enough motivation? I find that taking pictures of this whole scenario works perfectly, and always seems to inspire a sissyslut to work harder. I hate having to make them mop my floors twice, wouldn't you?

Try these all tips separately, or combine them for new and exciting adventures! Your imagination is your only limit, and your submissive is just waiting to fulfill your every wish and desire. May your foray into forced feminization bring you both abounding pleasure!

Seeking to shatter the myth that "nice girls don't talk about sex", and somehow trying to survive her mid-30's in suburbia without large doses of vodka, Portia Blush is a saucy Sapiosexual who shares with an infectious wit and a candid vulnerability about her explorations of sex, love, intimacy, kink, the occasional obsession, and everything in between; one true story at a time.

She has over 10 years experience playing Switchy in the BD/SM scene, and has explored a myriad of relationship configurations from monogamous to poly. She holds a BFA from some hoity-toity NYC art school, and still ponders the meaning of life on a regular basis. Follow her on twitter @erogenousblog and Facebook and of course, ErogenoUS her blog.

Have You Visited The Pleasure Chest Lately?

The Pleasure Chest is anything but your ordinary sex toyshop; it’s a business on a mission. Now in its 40th year, the store featured on both Sex and the City and Entourage (easily two of the most important shows in advocating sex) aims to both educate and enhance our sexual lives.

Their interest? Offering every customer a specialized experience in a judgment-free environment, as well as huge variety of toys. Another added benefit: they put on a regular series of free workshops to promote healthy, pleasurable and fulfilling sex for everyone.

You want it? They have it. Everything from vibrators to strap-ons to anal beads, The Pleasure Chest caters to both the fellas and the gals. They don’t stop with the sexual accessories to assist in mind-blowing orgasms. The Pleasure Chest is about forging a “sex positive culture.”

Grab any number of their sexual health videos and literature. In case you’re the last person on earth without a copy, you’ll be happy to know that “50 Shades of Grey” is now in stock!

Located right off the Paulina Brown Line in the booming Lakeview area, the Pleasure Chest is both easily accessible and equipped with free parking.


Last minute itch for that special toy to keep your partner screaming with pleasure? Grabbing for that bottle of lube only to find it empty? The hours accommodate the sexual night owls of Chicago, closing at 11pm Mon-Wed and 12am Thurs-Sat.

Visit The Pleasure Chest. They’re guaranteed to have what you want, and probably things you didn’t even know you wanted. With stores in other major markets like NY and LA, this innovative shop will no doubt continue their bi-costal mission in providing sexually satisfying lives.

Thanks to Zimibio.com for their picture of a couple inside a Pleasure Chest store.

This is a guest post by Greg Dorn. Greg is a self-employed day trader who loves writing. He aims to think about sex whenever possible, including a variety of ways to enhance his own love life. If you don't see Greg crunching numbers, you'll find him enjoying the beauty of his wonderful girlfriend around Chicago.

Ready to jump from 50 Shades of Grey into BDSM play?

It seems like everyone is reading 50 Shades of Grey these days. Do you think you are ready to leave the fantasy book world and get into some real, authentic BDSM? Maybe you would like to add kink to your "vanilla" monogamous relationship or maybe you would just like to find a dom for your kinky submissive side. Whatever your situation, our kink blogger, Lilly Rose, is here with the facts about 50 Shades of Grey. This was originally posted at her blog, Lilly's Submissive World.

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So you just finished reading the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy and think you are ready to try out some kink like Christian Grey or Anastasia Steele. First things first though. Do you think a wealthy, sexy, Christian Grey type is going to pop up at your door in a Porsche with a NSA disclosure contract for you to sign? Not quite. Although an addictive and steamy read, 50 Shades of Grey has some inaccuracies that don’t quite hold true in the real world of kink. I am officially here to guide you through your romp into BDSM. Here are 10 things that you should know before diving head first into kink.

Don’t hook up with a dom and mistake sex for love.

Please don’t make that hasty assumption. In BDSM it is very important to discuss the dom’s intentions from the very start. Is he looking for a play partner or something with deeper long-term implications? Is he monogamous or does he have many subs he shares time with? Is he polyamorous? Many kinksters do not believe in monogamous love. Make sure you know what you want and what the beliefs of your play partners are. Have open discussions about it. Be honest. People appreciate honesty. In the BDSM world, it is absolutely necessary for safety reasons to be upfront about everything. BDSM is about testing your limits and going beyond the edge. The only way you are going to know if you are ready for kink play is by discussing your hard and soft limits, your safe word or safe action and aftercare. However, if a dom tries to push you into something you are not comfortable with set him straight or move on. There are plenty of doms out there in all shapes and sizes each with their own individual style and with years of experience. Some doms are more impatient with newbies, others love them.

Kinky sex if done properly can be fabulous or can leave scars that last a lifetime on the inside as well as outside of your body. You have to be more careful with kink, as some fetish play can be quite dangerous. Christian Grey was a violent sadist who at times could not control his urges. In BDSM this is a definite "what not to do."  Doms must be in control of their urges at all times. They always have the subs best interest in mind.

Pick your fetishes

Do you like to be teased with a feather? Do you like the idea of being tied up? Do you like to pretend you’re a secretary and you’ve been a bad girl? Do you like the thought of being punished with a spanking? Does watching porn where the girl is being humiliated get you hot? Go you! Those are your fetishes. Embrace them! Now for you doms out there: If you like doing all that, get yourself a girl or boy sub and go to town! There are sites that advertise for subs and doms as well as meetings where you can meet people in your area that are interested in every type of kink fetish play. There are also many different informational blogs and seminars on kink/bdsm. Some are erotica and others are chock full of information and experiences in the scene that can help you. Two awesome sites to check out for beginners in BDSM are: BDSM and Fet Life. Both websites have a comprehensive listing of the different types of fetishes out there and advice articles on how to get started.

Meet your playmates for coffee and see if the chemistry is there

Make it consensual. You don’t have to have your lawyer draw up a legal document like in 50 Shades of Grey. Just sit down with your dom or sub and discuss your hard/soft limits, your safe word, and safe action and aftercare. Write them down on a piece of paper as a list. You can negotiate changes later.

What are your hard and soft limits?

Hard limits are those things you absolutely will not do. Maybe you never ever want permanent scars from play. Soft limits are things that you are not quite sure about. Maybe you might like a little flogging now and then, but you just may not know at the present moment if you are up for it. Pick a safe word. That is the word you utter when you absolutely want the play to end. "No" doesn’t cut it. We say no during sex even when we don’t mean it-especially in kink play. So another word is absolutely necessary to let your dom know when to stop. Lastly, you need a safe action. You never know when you are going to be gagged or your partner decides to put his hand over your mouth. Then you will not be able to say your safe word and you need a safe action.

Discuss aftercare

Aftercare is crucial! Aftercare is your dom play partner checking in on you and making sure you are alright after a scene. This may range from putting ointment on your butt after a paddling, to giving you a bubble bath or just plain cuddling. It is really important that he asks if anything upset you, especially if something made you feel unexpectedly uncomfortable during a scene. Feeling uncomfortable may still occur even with the best planning which is why aftercare is so important.

Unleash your inner goddess

Hurrah for this! Feeling good is the ultimate goal of any kind of BDSM play! If planned well, you can have an orgasm that leaves you in a fabulous trance. Yes, there are subs who are pain junkies and love sadists. They get off on it. If you are that type of person, then more power to you. But as in all sub/dom relationships, trust has to be built before engaging in any kind of intense play. This takes time. You are not going to be jumping into that dungeon right away and being beaten with a belt. That would be foolish for a beginner. Quite frankly, Anastasia in 50 Shades went faster than normal in her entry into kink. Never rush into a relationship with a dom in the BDSM world.

Be safe!

Most importantly, I can’t stress this enough, if you want to try BDSM at any age, be safe. Some BDSM activity involves group play (gang banging), anal play, scat (ingestion of feces), and intercourse—(watch out for germs and diseases) that all involve your share of dangers. So always use a condom and never ever perform anal to mouth or vagina. I know I am going to get a lot of flack for saying that from anal players but there are a lot of infections you can get and that is why it is not recommended by most doctors. As a compromise you can always wash before doing anal to mouth or vagina (keep a sanitizer and wash cloth handy). Any safe kinkster would recommend that. Otherwise, you are pretty much playing a dangerous game of sexual Russian roulette with your life.

Do your research

Want to know how to tie up your girlfriend's breasts with rope? Don’t know what fetish you may like? There are literally hundreds of fetishes sites out there. Some doms and subs can pick and choose off the menu. It is all good, no judgment in the BDSM community. Don’t know if you are straight or gay? No problem, you are pansexual or your sexuality is evolving. The BDSM community is very friendly and open to all types of characters. Welcome to our silly, quirky world where all your kinky desires come true!

Are you a reader?

Believe it or not, 50 Shades of Grey isn't the only book out there. There are much sexier and educational BDSM books that are better suited for learning about this kind of lifestyle. Most doms consider "The Story of O" the bible of BDSM sub training. You may not like everything in it, but it's a quick read, well written and worth downloading or buying. There is a film version of it too if movies are more your style!


Now good luck to all you new Christian Greys and Anastasia Steeles! Remember: do your research, hunt for your mates, and get your adorable bods out there! Be safe and have some fun! If you have any questions you can always visit my site. It is informational as well as steamy and I love to help fellow kinksters.

Lilly Rose is a kink blogger, geeky Ivy League graduate activist and lover of great doms. Find Lily on Twitter @letitlingeron and also check out her blog. Lily also writes for Mindchaotica and Evolvedworld, and her Erotica (fiction and non-fiction) can be found at Literotica.

Build Your Own 50 Shades of Grey Play Kit!

If you have read the recent literary phenomenon 50 Shades of Grey, then you must be familiar with the sexy toys it mentions. However, if you are more of a novice then that's ok too! Here are 11 sexy, fun, entertaining and pleasurable toys and items that will make your next romp in the bedroom just that much better.

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Riding Crop - The riding crop got special attention in the book after Anna admitted to Christian that it was something she had fantasized about. It's good for taunting, teasing, spanking for pleasure and punishing.

Bondage Tape - Bondage tape is amazing! We speak from personal experience. It sticks to itself and wont tear out your arm hair or hair from wherever else you're using it. It also comes in tons of fun colors!

Stimulants - These will make your juicy bits more sensitive to touch and the overall sensation is amazing. So when you play you will be able feel and revel in every delicious moment of it.

Candles - If your feeling a little bold we would suggest candles and candle wax. The sensation of hot candle wax on the body is very titillating and sensual. WARNING! If you are not experienced with candle wax play I would suggest using candles made from paraffin wax, soy way, or bayberry (myrtle wax). All of these waxes burn at a low temperature so it's safer for the skin and you won't risk injury. Stick with pure waxes with no colors or perfumes because, that has an effect on the temperature at which your candle will burn.

Nipple clamps - Yes, nipple clams. They aren't at scary and painful as they seem. You can buy adjustable clamps to control the amount of pressure you want. It adds sensitivity and certainly adds more pleasure.

Cock ring - Not only for your man but for you as well. A cock ring will add longevity to your man's erection and will help him last longer.  

Vibrator - Vibrators are not just solo play any more! You can introduce a vibrator for your pleasure and for your man's pleasure. The vibrating sensation will feel great on your man's balls and on the under side of the head of his cock. Take turns pleasuring each other!

Butt Plug - Also good for you and your man. Try wearing this while you're partaking in intercourse and feel extra pleasure. Your lover can also wear one while he receives head. This will intensify his orgasm.

Blind Fold - When you have a sense a taken away your others become heightened to compensate. This means your skin becomes more sensitive, and your hearing and sense of smell also become heightened. Try sensory play while blind folded.

Rope - Handcuffs are naughty and fun but, ropes are naughty, artful, and versatile. You can create many positions with ropes.

A nice bag or case - Yes, to store everything in of course! You can buy a nice chest or a bag and store everything in a drawer or in your closet. Or, you can buy both and use the bag for any traveling or vacation excitement.

There are many great toys you can use to up your game in the bedroom. Look at our suggestions, do some research and make your own 50 Shades kit. 

If you're feeling bold feel free to share your experiences with us! We would love to hear how GetLusty helps you! With love from, GetLusty.

This is a guest post by our very own Crimson Love. Crimson is our resident BDSM fetish expert. If you don't see Crimson out dining with her adoring boyfriend, you'll find her reading books on innovation or finance. Crimson is currently finishing off her Bachelor's, she is passionate about food, photography, music and especially sex--and she's not afraid to talk about it. With everyone!

Have story ideas? Get in touch with Crimson Love at amber@getlusty.com. 

6 Reasons 50 Shades Isn't Realistic

Since it's 50 Shades of Grey September, we have been writing a lot about BDSM and the 50 Shades trilogy. We have had writers talk about their experiences and I have talked about 50 Shades inspired fantasies. The book has become extremely popular in the last several months and for good reason. It gives us a peek into the sexy, complicated and lovely world of BDSM. However, the peek we are given in 50 Shades is quite unrealistic.

How so? We are glad you asked! Here is a list of the top six ways 50 Shades of Grey is completely unrealistic!

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1. A Dom taking in a virgin as a submissive

While there is a small percentage who might prefer a virgin, most Doms prefer women who are sexually experienced.

2. The crazy, rich and reclusive Dom

While reclusive people are not a rarity in this kind of lifestyle, the fact that he is super wealthy is not something that you will magically stumble upon. Add the fact that he picks a mousy college student...it's certainly a dream.

3. A virgin who was recently deflowered gets into kink

We highly doubt that if you recently loose your virginity you're going to find yourself quickly segwaying into kink of any kind. Exploring your sexuality takes time. After a few months we can understand, but after only a couple of weeks?

4. A 21 year old being handed their own company

We don't care if you're 35, if you have not proven to me over the course of a year or more that you can run a company than we are certainly not going to buy one and give it to you. As smart as Christian Grey is, he makes some crazy decisions.

5. A man that rich not signing a prenup

We get that money comes in bountiful amounts to Christian Grey. He worked hard for it and deserves it. But if you worked that hard, wouldn't you want to protect it? Especially if your marrying a 21 year-old who is not used to that kind of wealth! 

6. Contract, what contract?  

In the book, Christian Grey drew up a contract for Anna. It was a submissive contract. For a brand new submissive, someone who is not only new to you but new to the lifestyle, they would not get away with not signing a contract. Thank goodness she didn't get by on that nondisclosure agreement.

The world of BDSM is one hidden in a back room behind a red door. It's complex, amazing and very real. However, 50 shades is not. If you want a real peak into the BDSM life, do your research. We're here to help.

With love from, GetLusty.

This is a guest post by our very own Crimson Love. Crimson is our resident BDSM fetish expert. If you don't see Crimson out dining with her adoring boyfriend, you'll find her reading books on innovation or finance. Crimson is currently finishing off her Bachelor's, she is passionate about food, photography, music and especially sex--and she's not afraid to talk about it. With everyone!

Have story ideas? Get in touch with Crimson Love at amber@getlusty.com. 

A Foray Into Foot Fetishism: a Story

Some think that having a foot fetish is weird. We think it's totally normal from a kinky perspective. And we think being kinky is hot! That's why we love stories about how individuals get involved with these. We're not just about how-to's. Though we'd love to present a how-to do a foot job (think hand job with your feet). Again, try to put away your bias of the foot fetish for now. Just read with an open mind.

Here is a personal essay from Portia Blush, who writes extensively on BDSM and Kink. This is a story of how Portia got into foot fetishes, and how she's using it to her advantage years later.

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My first personal experience with foot worship came a few years before I delved into the BDSM world. I used to be a regular at showings of The Rocky Horror Picture Show on 8th Street in Manhattan when I first went to college in the early 90′s, and one of my fellow regulars, part of the group that took me in and quickly made me a part of their crew, loved feet. And when I say he loved feet, I mean he LOVED feet!

He loved watching me wiggle my toes, he got doe-eyed watching me arch my foot to stretch and point my toes, and as soon as I became aware of this through keen observation, I would do them more obviously in his presence. The not quite matured Dominant aspect of my nature thoroughly enjoyed this. I reveled in the thought that it was erotically torturous for him to watch me, and I took advantage of this whenever I could. It helped that I had an interest in him sexually, as sexuality ties heavily into D/s for me. In short, they are inextricably linked for me. Well, maybe not in all cases, but usually 95% of the time anyway.

The object of his affection: my feet

Soon, as he became comfortable with me, and aware that we shared a mutual attraction, I allowed this aspect of our relationship to grow. I remember one night where he literally massaged and rubbed my stocking feet for what seemed like an hour before one show.

I was somewhat repulsed by it at first, as I knew my tired, stocking-clad tootsies were definitely not the most pleasant smelling. Oh, but that was just like icing on the cake for him, as he totally got off on stinky feet, and the more it smelled like you had been walking around all day, the better! I wouldn’t even want to be near my feet after that, but to each his own. Good on ya, mate!

Another night I even allowed him to suck my toes and lick my feet. I know some women actually find this feeling erotic, no fetish included, but then, to me, it just felt weird. It certainly did nothing for me sexually, but he really enjoyed it, and so I acquiesced to his desire, as it certainly wasn’t a deal breaker. I suppose I should’ve looked at it like getting a foot massage with a mouth. I had another experience with my toes being sucked by a lover just a year or so ago, and um, let’s just say under the right circumstances, I think my toes have tiny clits on them, but I digress.)

My roots of foot fetishism

A few years later as I forayed into my experience with BDSM, I began to learn that this form of fetish had its roots in submission. Myself, a dominant female or mistress if you please, became well aware that my stiletto-sporting feet were in high demand by submissive men with foot fetishes. I intended to milk this fetish for all it was worth. And when I say worth, I mean I saw dollar signs.

I was not alone in my ingenuity either! My partner in crime and best friend, Domina Blue, saw the monumental eBay potential to be gleamed. She was not only a Domina like me, but shared my eBay obsession as well. Blue encouraged me to list my well-worn stockings, socks, high heels, and even busted-out old sneakers for auction. Alas, eBay didn’t like such auctions, and quickly cancelled them despite overwhelmingly rapid bidding response! Apparently the selling of erotically marketed used clothing did not jive with their policies. Foiled again. I’d expect a little more from a company from California, land of the “out there”!


eBanned: Did you know about it?

Ah, thank you, eBanned! eBanned is the cleverly created “adult only” auction site for all things fetish that are not allowed on eBay.

Smelly socks? Worn panties? Trashed out high heels? You name it, you can sell, or buy it, on eBanned. Honestly, you’re just going to throw out your old socks, so why do that when you can sell them to some foot-sniffing, sock lover for $20, who will love them in his own special way? And please don’t think me callus in that statement, as those loving footboys understand what a true pleasure it is that I allowed them.

Green & erotic

It’s not only a no-brainer as far as the profit margins go, but it’s also the most cleverly concealed form of recycling ever devised! And who doesn’t care about the environment these days, right? I was such an innovator in the realm of “repurposing” back then, and I didn’t even realize it. And hey, it’s like getting your shoes for free, because once you have worn them enough that you need new ones, you can end up selling your beat up heels for anywhere from half, up to what they originally cost you, or more! I sold a pair of 6″ red patent, ankle strap, stilettos that I had worn out for $85+ to a guy from Germany! They cost me less than half that. 

Of course it’s not just the object itself, but the symbolism behind it, as well as the scent infused in it. To smell your feet, see the wear and imagine your perfect feet carving a path across a crowded room as all eyes fell on you, and imagine the life you lived in them as they worship every aspect of your Goddesshood; that, it’s that those footboys desire. It could be a high heel, a sneaker, a cute cotton athletic sock, or the sexiest pair of silk stockings. It’s whatever their proclivity is, whatever fantasy you choose to weave, and whatever piece of your world you deem them fit to enjoy the morsel of.

I call that a win/win, don’t you?

This was originally posted to her blog erogenoUS.

Seeking to shatter the myth that "nice girls don't talk about sex", and somehow trying to survive her mid-30's in suburbia without large doses of vodka, Portia Blush is a saucy Sapiosexual who shares with an infectious wit and a candid vulnerability about her explorations of sex, love, intimacy, kink, the occasional obsession, and everything in between; one true story at a time.

She has over 10 years experience playing Switchy in the BD/SM scene, and has explored a myriad of relationship configurations from monogamous to poly. She holds a BFA from some hoity-toity NYC art school, and still ponders the meaning of life on a regular basis. Follow her on twitter @erogenousblog and Facebook and of course, ErogenoUS her blog.