My Favorite Things: Sex Slang for Giggles

Need to add some more slang words to you sex vocabulary? Forget the dictionary! Nadine Thornhill from Adorkable Undies is here with a post on some of her favorite sexy slang terms for our nether regions.

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Tonight I’m facilitating a session on sex positivity for some new volunteers at work. My favorite part of the lesson involves an activity called “penis vulva arm."  The group must come up with as many euphemisms/slang terms for each body part. It’s no holds-barred. Participants are encouraged to throw out any word no matter how cheesy, inappropriate or potentially offensive it might be.

We write all the words on large sheets of paper. Invariably, there are dozens of words for both penis and vulva, while the record for “arm” stands at four. The purpose of the exercise is to illustrate how many words we’ve created to describe the sexual parts of our bodies and how, to some extent, the breadth of language exists as a way to avoid speaking about sex directly.

While I agree that speaking in anatomically correct terms without blushing furiously is a good thing, I must confess that I do have fun with less formal sex-talk in certain contexts. Here, for your consideration, are some of my favorite sexy slang terms:

Vulva: Cunt. The Lion.

Clitoris: Clit

Vagina: Vag. Inside me/her.

Penis: Cock

Testicles: Balls. (I’m trying to break my habit of saying “balls!” to express disappointment, as I like balls/testicles quite a bit. “pants!” is the my new “balls!”)

Scrotum: Ball sack

Breasts: Boobs (in casual conversation). Tits (in sexy situations)

Butt: Ass. Booty.

Semen: Jizz

Vaginal lubrication: Va-Jizz

Penetrative Sex: Fuck(ing)

Spanking: Ass slap

Fellatio: Going down. Sucking cock.

Cunnilingus: Use/using your mouth (The term “eating out” just doesn’t make sense to me.)

Anal Sex: Ass fuck(ing)

Masturbation: Wanking. Taking Care Of Business.

When it comes to sex words, do you have some preferred slang terms or do you like to straight up tell it like it is? Comments are open so don’t be shy. Speak up!

This was originally posted at Adorkable Undies, Nadine Thornhill's lovely blog.

Nadine is a sexual health educator, playwright, poet, burlesque performer, partner and parent living in Ottawa, Ontario. The plays and poetry she creates tend toward subjects such as clitorises, vibrators and non-monogamy. She enjoys candy, fashion and dreck television. She does not care for pants.

Find her on Twitter @NadineThornhill. She also blogs on Adorkable Undies. Find her on Facebook and Pinterest.

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My Favorite Things: Masturbation!

This is a post from Nadine Thornhill at Adorkable Undies.  Here are 11 reasons why masturbation is awesome! 

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Although technically masturbation isn’t a thing, like all sex, it’s an activity. And I do have me some fun at the activity centre! I love masturbation! I love it in concept. I am head-over-heels and I love it in practice. I’ve got it bad for my hands, yo. And my toys. And a few specific household items. I’ve been masturbating for a long time. So long I don’t remember a time when I didn't masturbate. So, when I say that masturbation is awesome, I’m speaking from lots of experience. Don’t believe me? Just consider the following benefits:

1. No one ever regrets it

No one ever masturbates and thinks ‘Dang! That was the worst part of my day!‘

2. It's a fast release 

 It’s 4:00 PM. You’ve just come home from work. The kids will be home from soccer at any minute, you still have to make dinner and you’re horny as hell.  Ping! Try mastubation – for a quick and healthy fix.

3. You don't even need to leave your bedroom!

Masturbation is the thrill of exploration in the comfort of your own home.

4. Releases endorphins

Masturbation releases endorphins, which relax the muscles. Try it as part of your post-workout routine.

5. Cures a headache

Masturbation releases endorphins, which provide pain relief. Try it the next time you have a headache.

6. Fantasy

Yearning for frisky times with someone who isn’t your long-term, monogamous partner? Don’t want to negotiate an open relationship? Infidelity not your style? Fondle your sexy parts and enjoy a hot, fantasy tryst, courtesy of masturbation!

7. No rejection in masturbation

How hard is it to convince you to have sex with you?

8. Turns your partner on

Granting your partner’s request to watch you masturbate triples your chances of getting applause.

9. Natural cure for insomnia 

It’s 1:00 AM.  You’re still tossing and turning and you’ve got that big presentation in the morning. Try masturbation: a safe, natural sedative!

10. Reduces cancer risk

Masturbating can reduce the risk of cervical infection and prostate cancer. Three cheers for healthy nethers!

11. Multiple ways of pleasure

Some flexible folk can masturbate orally! Even if you’re not one of the lucky few who can get your tongue to your promise land, you can see videos of it online. Trust me – that shit’s pretty cool.

In conclusion, masturbation rules. So when this 9-5 work day world has got you down, get a hold of yourself – literally and take a few moments for some self-stimulation!

Nadine is a sexual health educator, playwright, poet, burlesque performer, partner and parent living in Ottawa, Ontario. The plays and poetry she creates tend toward subjects such as clitorises, vibrators and non-monogamy. 

She enjoys candy, fashion and dreck television. She does not care for pants. Find her on Twitter @NadineThornhill. She also blogs on Adorkable Undies. Find her blog on Facebook and Pinterest.